pray without ceasing

(1 Thessalonians 5:17 emphasis added)

As Paul closes the first letter to the Thessalonians, he encourages his readers to pray without ceasing and to give thanks in all circumstances. Sometimes I wonder what it means to pray without ceasing. Does it mean that I am to walk around with my head bowed constantly whispering a prayer? Does it mean that I need to keep a lengthy list of persons and concerns and repeat that list ad infinitum until God sees fit to answer my prayer? Then, I am also faced with the question of unanswered prayer. Is God listening? Jesus promised, “I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it. (John 14:13-14 emphasis added)

But that is not my experience in prayer. The healing I prayed for did not happen. The relationship I prayed for was not salvaged. Reconciliation did not occur. Did I not pray enough? Did I use the wrong words? Was God not listening? Was Jesus’ promise limited to the disciples gathered round him the night before his death?

I recently wrote a prayer based on Jesus’ promise, “If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it.” In the prayer I focused on the word “ask.” The prayer has three “asks.” The prayer is included on a Bible app that I read each morning therefore the prayer is in front of me each day. In this way I pray these “asks” without ceasing. The prayer is always made in Jesus’ name. I do not know when, if, or how the prayer will be answered. However, I continue to pray.

There is another element to prayer that we may overlook. That is my role in the prayer. What I mean is this. In my prayer I ask God to give me the opportunity to be an agent of reconciliation. Great ask. But am I willing to step into that role when God opens the door?

Prayer is not an Aladdin’s lamp that I rub and expect God to magically do what I ask without my assuming responsibility for the result. I have heard it said be careful what you pray for, you might get it. What? Let’s be honest with ourselves. If I pray for the opportunity to be an agent of reconciliation in a conflict situation, am I willing to take the risk inherent in taking on that role? Whether it is family, work, or church there is always the risk that my involvement will escalate the conflict. There is always the danger of alienating a family member or losing a friend. When I pray to be an agent of reconciliation, I need to be aware of the ramifications of the prayer. If I am not willing to take the risks, then maybe the prayer is ill-timed. It might be that God needs to do some work in my life before I presume to know what is best for someone else. Prayer can be a risky business.

Yet Paul wrote, “pray without ceasing.” I believe he meant to be in an attitude of prayer that places one constantly in the presence of God. If Jesus is the vine and we are the branches we have been grafted into him and his life flows in and through each of us.(see John 15:1-11)  We do not need a posture of prayer, such as kneeling with hands folded, but rather we need an attitude of prayer that reminds us that we are the daughters and sons of God. To be in an attitude of prayer is to be in communion with the Spirit of God that lives within us.

Prayer is not about formulas and sacred language but is about living into the relationship with our heavenly Parent for which we were created. When I offer to pray for someone, I am focusing my thoughts and petitions on asking God to work God’s will in that individual’s circumstance. Intercession is praying for that person as God would pray for him or her. The spoken words are irrelevant compared to the attitude of prayer and the relationship we have with God. Based on our relationship with God we trust that God always knows best and works all things for good “for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

That sounds difficult. And it is. What makes it possible is the attitude of prayer that permeates our lives as the children of God. The attitude of prayer is based on relationship. As parents we love our children and, in our actions, we show them our love. They need not question or debate the reality of our love. It is a given. God has proven God’s absolute love for us in the Son. We need not question or debate that love. It is proven fact.

Let me suggest as a way of strengthening your prayer life that you find a prayer partner. You and your prayer partner commit to meet once a week as you are able, in person, or if that does not work, then by phone. In your time together you have the opportunity to share what is happening in your life, at home, at school, at work. It is a time of mutual sharing. It is an opportunity for mutual accountability. Each conversation ends with each partner asking, “How can I pray for you?” Your time together concludes with each partner praying for the concerns of the other. This is a spoken prayer and it may take some time to become comfortable with speaking the prayer aloud. While this may not be easy, it pushes one to put the needs of the other above our own concerns. It allows your prayer partner to hear you speak their needs into God’s ears. It can be transformative for the two of you as you pray for one another.

It would be the height of arrogance for me to presume that my thoughts are the final word on the practice of prayer. Far from it! These few comments and this suggestion are meant to encourage you to dive deeper into your prayer experiences, to think critically about what it means to be in a personal relationship with God. If your contemplations push you to examine your practice of prayer then I welcome you into an ever-deepening fellowship with God’s Son. God welcomes you to join the conversation.

One final thought. You are the beloved daughter or son of God. You are loved unequivocally. You can pray in the absolute assurance that God will never stop loving you. An attitude of prayer is the conviction that God is present, listening, and loving. You are not alone.